EAT!

Here’s something I came up with whilst hunting for the recipe of coq-au-vin.

The best food critic is not the smarmy thong wearing skinny beeyatch on TV who doesn’t really eat a thing but just blahs on what she doesn’t know. It’s ME. HAH!

My friend Shwetha was on the Cabbage soup diet; the other day she wanted steak…as in beef steak, so that got me thinking where are the places to go for like various stuff.

I only recommend the places that I think are really good – as the best of the best. I mean there are a thousand places you could get any of these…but if you were my friend and you wanted to eat food, in Mumbai that you could enjoy I’d take you these places.

For more info go to http://mumbai.burrp.com

So we start with the entrée of the day:

Steak

I love beef. I don’t eat it anymore because I’m on a serious diet. But for those of y’all who are hunting for the right stuff these are the places to go and what you should eat – I know because I’ve had their stuff:

South Mumbai Steak Places:

1. Café Leopold, Colaba Causeway. You don’t know Leo’s; you don’t know Mumbai – THE BEST STEAK in the history of all steaks. Juicy, tangy, yummy: Steak and Onions: Superlicious!
2. Café Royal, right next to Regal Cinema. Great steak…in pepper/barbecue sauce.
3. Indigo behind the Taj. The food there is just good all the time. Steak is phenomenal
4. Kobe – Opera House. Steak sizzlers. Fancy finding beef in a Gujju area. Heheh! Suckers!

In the Suburbs, Shwetha recommends)

1. Yokos
2. Café Penne, Juhu
3. Olive Bar, Khar
4. Café Basilico, Bandra

“Recommended places” where you shouldn’t go?

Had a friend who went to New Martin’s opposite Strand at Colaba. She hated it so much she nearly complained to the Health Department. Problem is she doesn’t know whom to complain to. All hail Indian Bureaucracy and it's ambiguous nature!

Dosas

If you hate dosas you CANNOT like food. Dosas are your quintessential improv dish. Any idiot can make a dosa but it takes knack to make it well.

1. My dad tells me the Taj (as in the 5 star hotel) at Apollo Bunder is the best place to eat Sada Dosa and I’d love to agree but I can’t really try something that would be 1/5^th of my salary when it’s only 15 inches wide.
2. Roadside Dosawallas: for Mysore Masala that actually tastes like Mysore Masala dosa

1. Babulnath Dosawalla (near Babulnath Temple)
2. Chandralok Dosawalla (Napean Sea Road)
3. Canteen at Jai Hind College (brilliant!)
4. Haji Ali Dosawalla

For refined ambience and if you are going to stick to sada dosas…

1. Status, Nariman Point.
2. Kamat, Colaba

“Recommended places” where you shouldn’t go?
If Dosa Hut or Dosa Diner chain is still alive and active, for God's sake DON'T BLOODY GO!!!

Pav Bhaji (yes only three...I take Pav Bhaji very seriously.)

a. Shiv Sagar, Churchgate

b. Sukh Sargar, Chowpatty

c. Elco Market, Bandra

“Recommended places” where shouldn’t you go?

Chowpatty or Juhu Chowpatty. You'll probably get botulism the stale potatoes.

Pizzas:

1. Celini, Grand Hyatt, Santacruz, Mumbai. Literally in the middle of nowhere but the Pizza is worth the trip. Of course it’s so frickin’ expensive you might rethink about wanting to come back…but this is standard melt in your mouth pizza. Sun dried tomatoes in Celini – taste like sun dried tomatoes.

2. Trattoria, Taj President, Cuffe Parade

3. Frangipani, Hilton, Nariman Point

4. The Pizzeria, Marine Drive

“Recommended places” where you shouldn’t go?

Do not, I beg you go to Pizza Hut. It's crap.

Italian cuisine (Pizza, Pasta, Tiramisu and all that jazz)

1. Celini; Grand Hyatt, Santacruz

2. White; Ozone club, Goregaon

3. Cinnamon Bar and Grill

4. Little Italy; Andheri, Juhu

5. Trattoria, Taj President, Cuffe Parade

“Recommended places” where you shouldn’t go?

Bombay Blues. Ew for Pastas. Great for other stuff.

A friend recommended Corleone at the Intercontinental, Marine Drive. I’m yet to check it out.

If this blog ever gets read by anyone, and you have any recommendations for whatever food or whatever list or whatever cuisine, message me. I'll update.